Careful with Hiding your Success and Being Modest

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Careful with Hiding your Success and Being Modest

🔥 Being modest about your achievements or successes may seem like a nice trait to most people, depending on the culture perhaps.
But Roberts et al. found from 8 experiments, in both public and private settings, and for both family, business and romantic relationships, that modesty can actually backfire on you. Because although those who hide their achievements are perceived as more modest than those who shared it, they are also seen as less competent and less warm. I think one possible explanation for this could perhaps be the mechanisms described in the Johari Window.

Anyway, according to the researchers individuals often hide their successes from others but such hiding has relational costs. Apparently people who receive such communications by a successful person can feel envious (jealous) and happy for the other person's success at the same time. "Sharing one's accomplishments with others is superior to hiding for maintaining one's relationships."
Source: Roberts A.R., Levine E.E. and Sezer O., "Hiding Success", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 120(5), 1261–1286.

All of the mentioned studies were conducted in the United States. I think people from the US have a more positive attitude towards "selling your achievements" than Europeans or Asian people do.
⇨ So… How is modesty viewed in your country? For example when applying for a job, when presenting the successful results of some project to the management team, or when presenting your company to stakeholders or investors.

		Comments by date▼ Comments by rating Rating
		2 parmeggiani Manager, Italy
	Modesty in Italy Very similar to US culture. Anyway a huge difference is in how people present their achievements. You can brag about yourself or simply state things that you have achieved with effort and dedication … very different outcomes.

		2 Dr Ranjith Nayar Manager, Singapore
	Modesty in Singapore Generally in Asian cultures, flaunting your successes is considered beneath you, though times are changing. In Singapore, it is rare to see people talking about their successes even in job interviews.

		2 David Mensah Student (University), United States
	Hiding your Success It is good to live a modest life and hide your success, so that you can have peace of mind. This is because illiteracy is vey high in Africa and jealousy, envy especially the petty ones are very common here. Living a modest life can save you from complex problems and live a longer life, if one does not use the success stories to brag.

		1 Lenicio Noble CEO, United States
	Hiding your Accomplishments I agree that living modest life gives you peace of mind, but when you hide your accomplishments in order to not receive jealousy this can stunt personal growth, and not knowing what opportunities lie around the corner because of your accomplishments.

		0 Paramathmuni srinivas Kumar India
	Revealing Success is OK as Long as it is Truthful There is nothing wrong in revealing ones accomplishments which are truthful I suppose if the context demands that. I think it neither comes under self praise or decrying others, both of which are said to be harmful for one's inner growth.

		1 Rebecca Gordon Coach, United Kingdom
	Gender Differences in Modesty? Interesting discussion. What are some thoughts on whether there is a difference in modesty between genders when sharing success in the workplace and the wider implications in terms of visibility and advancement?

		2 Ashok GANESAN Analyst, Austria
	Difference Between Sharing and Selling Achievements There is a difference between sharing your achievements and selling your achievements. The former is essential, while the later is useful for personal gains.

		1 Gera Teacher, Kenya
	Questioning the 'Success' In addition to questioning why and how we tell about our so-called 'successes' or achievements, it is also equally important to question how we attach the 'success' to ourselves considering situations and opportunities that lead us to success. What happens if others walked through the same? That may be a reason that leads to being modest.

		2 Steven Gertel Professor, United States
	Real Success Those who pretend "I did this on my own" are both arrogant and self centered and NOT perceived as successful, but are resented. Real success requires acknowledging and crediting those who contributed their thoughts, effort, time and enthusiasm to the project or task accomplishment. Involving others allows them to be a part of and endorse your achievement. And of course, as my wife pointed out, the best measure of success is for your colleagues to recognize your outstanding performance.

		1 Maurice Hogarth Consultant, United Kingdom
	Modestly Successful As in many things, there isn't one right answer. Not only do different national cultures have different perceptions about people "blowing their own trumpet", different organisational cultures as well as different individuals will undoubtedly have different views as well. Yes the USA tends to be more "upfront" about self promotion. In the light of all the confidence boosting gurus coming to fruition there and promoting their various approaches, this is probably not surprising. For me, it seems that the perception of those people stating their "success" is to do primarily with the how and when or why it is communicated. Simply taking over a conversation or situation as an opportunity for "boasting" is likely to backfire, with the reaction of "loudmouth", whereas offering a success story to illustrate a possible approach to dealing with a situation of concern or responding in a factual manner to a request for how a particular success came about would seem to be more likely to be received in a more accepting manner and offer the opportunity for some form of recognition. So the favourable response to someone uncovering their success/es is likely to be due to the perceptions arising from their reason-purpose, manner of doing it and the language that they use.

		1 Amir Momendoust CxO / Board, Iran
	Modesty Definition is Different in Various Corporate Cultures This is an interesting topic! Besides the overall social cultures and values, corporate cultures are very important in this case as well. In some corporations, you need to yell out your achievements to be seen and considered as a worthwhile member who delivers, while in some others, there is already high level of maturity in recognition that you feel comfortable to keep on a modest business life. But whatever the corporate and social cultures you live in are, you are responsible to ensure your work and achievements are seen properly by all related others in the most fruitful and constructive way possible.

		3 Jaap de Jonge Editor, Netherlands
	When Modesty is Advisable Flaunting of one’s wealth to gain status and recognition (as many popular music artists are doing in their music clips) can be an effective way to “sell yourself” as a successful person. But in case c...

		2 Maurice Hogarth Consultant, United Kingdom
	Forms of Success This, of course, also relates to what the 'immature' or 'mature' mindset might consider 'success' to be. As well as when is it appropriate to 'flaunt' or to "hide" or to simply not mention until there...